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1 in 4 girls

1 in 4 girls is sexually abused during childhood.

I am 1 in 4 girls.
I am, so far, a survivor.
This is my story.

These are my thoughts, prayers, fears, nightmares;
but also my joys, loves, comforts, strengths...

22nd
May
Sun
  • Be

    How can I be a friend when I don’t trust anyone to know the truth about me?

    How can I be a lover when my version of an orgasm is crying hysterically?

    How can I be a wife when I look at any father and daughter relationship doubtfully?

    How can I be a mother when my father abused me and my mother neglected me?

    How can I be a nursery teacher when every time I see a little girl, I feel so unhappy?

    How can I be all these things I want to be?

  • 14th
    Apr
    Thu
  • Pretend

    Let us pretend
    that nothing ever happened
    that you didn’t put your hand
    inside of my pant
    that you didn’t betray my trust
    that you didn’t give into your sick lust
    that you didn’t fuck with my brain
    that you didn’t make me feel shame
    that you didn’t make me want to hide
    that you didn’t make me want to die

    Tags: child sex abuse csa poetry pretend incest 
    Notes: 8
  • 14th
    Apr
    Thu
  • Hate

    I hate your face
    I hate your beard
    I hate your lips
    I hate your voice

    I hate the way you talk
    I hate the way you shout
    I hate the way you argue
    I hate the way you attack

    I hate it when you slurp your coffee
    I hate it when you chew so loudly
    I hate it when you try to hug me
    I hate it when you comment on how I look

    I hate that these things are so trivial
    I hate that everything you do affects me so much
    I hate that I have to see you everyday
    I hate that I hate mum because of what you’ve done

    I hate mum because she never saw the abuser in you
    I hate mum because she never saw the pain in me
    I hate mum because she took you back into our home
    I hate mum because she pretends that nothing happened

    Tags: child sex abuse csa dad hate poetry Survivor 
    Notes: 3
  • 11th
    Apr
    Mon
  • "Bleeding in Silence"

    "Bleeding in Silence"

  • 11th
    Apr
    Mon
  • She’s living

    She’s living a lie
    everyday she tries to smile
    while inside she dies
    keeping up appearances all the while

    She’s living with her molester
    it was 15 years ago
    the night he touched her
    after all this time she should let go

    She’s living her life
    despite the past
    she constantly wipes her eyes
    gotta hide the hurt fast

    She’s living as best as she can
    don’t want everyone to know he did bad
    they’d publicly shame the man
    that she calls “Dad”

  • Accent Red by Neil Talwar